The Dumb Reading Group

Picture this...

It’s 10:00 in the morning in Ms. Anderson’s third-grade class at Royal Elementary School. There are eight chairs in front of the room, off to the side, forming a circle.

What’s the circle for? “The Dumb Reading Group.” What?!

Every day, I had to walk up the long aisle of desks to the front of the room and sit in “the circle.” I dreaded it. I had to do this in front of all my closest friends (who, by the way, weren’t labeled “dumb” like me). Talk about being scarred.

And as if that wasn’t enough humiliation, Ms. Anderson’s niece, Alice, was in the circle with us. Alice had special needs, which back then we referred to as “retarded.” So, with Alice in our group, the entire third grade class labeled us The Dumb Reading Group.

Yep, I was a member of the dumb reading group in third grade. It’s created one of those labels and “issues” I’m still working to get over today.

What did I do with this label? I owned it. I thought it was true. What’s a third-grader to do? I began looking for proof that I was stupid and dumb.

Do you know what happens when the mind believes that it’s right and looks for proof? It finds the evidence. I looked... and I found evidence!

As I got older, I began to live in fear that others were going to discover the truth about me, that I secretly was stupid and dumb. I worked really hard to “look” smart, and figure out what people were going to ask me before they asked. I didn’t want to be humiliated again. Talk about a grueling task!

The good news: I fooled everyone, or so I thought. I consistently made the honor roll. Even with the occasional D or F (in English, of course – reading and writing), I managed to give the appearance that I was smart. When I squeaked by on my SATs with a very BELOW average score, again I acknowledged it with an“I must be dumb.” And yes, it was the reading section that lowered my score... more proof!

When I was accepted into a private southern college, I still couldn’t acknowledge that I had earned it. I was convinced my family connections were responsible. With SAT scores like mine, how could I possibly get in? I was too stupid and dumb to get in on my own.

Folks, this went on for years. I can’t tell you how much energy I’ve expended trying desperately to make sure that people didn’t find out just how “dumb” I really was.

Even today, when I’m triggered by my fears of being dumb and stupid, and not being smart enough to measure up, I have to stop, take a deep breath and remind myself of the truth. I’m not in The Dumb Reading Group anymore.

I am smart. I am wise. I am a genius. I am only “dumb and stupid” if I think I am.

All this... 53 years of fear and anxiety... working hard... not to be “dumb and stupid ”... from a third-grade experience and a label that I bought into. WOW!!

How about you? Do you have labels from your past that you hold onto? Are you still looking for evidence to support negative beliefs that you bought into? If so...

Join me today—let it go! Free your mind and give yourself some credit! It’s quite liberating!

I am brilliant. I am smart. I am full of wisdom. I am...