Is There Ever Enough? - by John L. Payne

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As we know with our work within the context of Family Constellations and Trans-Generational Healing, the natural flow of love from grandparents to parents to us as children and on to our own children is often blocked and diverted by events that have taken place, either in this generation or in previous generations.
Whenever trauma takes place, whether that trauma be that the loss of someone very dear to us or an event such as violence, wars and other socio-political circumstances, we most often withdraw from our essence and live through our defences and masks.

As children, we can feel all that is unsaid and all that is felt which has a deep impact on our own ability to live from our natural essence. When we become aware of any void that may exist between ourselves and a parent we often try to fill that void with constantly searching for its replacement - be that attention from others, material possessions, addictions or constant intellectual stimulation.
As children, an especially as infants, we instinctively know that our very survival is dependent upon the love and care of our parents and guardians. When events take place that cause us to feel abandoned in some way, we are traumatised by this. This kind of trauma does not necessarily need to be one specific event, but can be the result of frequent feelings of abandonment that lead us to feel alone and we question our very ability to survive. When this happens, we instinctively lock our core essence deep inside, literally imprisoning ourselves.

As we begin to heal the trauma of abandonment, we are able to more fully call upon our own inner resources instead of needing, and in some cases demanding, that other things and people fill those needs. As we heal the rifts we are better able to open ourselves to the pure positive life force energy that not only comes to us from our ancestors, but also from the Universal Field of Love. When we are able to do this, everything in our lives becomes infinitely more fulfilling as we ourselves are able to enter into relationships and friendships, and indeed the world, as a more complete and whole person. As we do this, the masks, the defences, the neediness falls away and what we are then able to do is simply to love others from our essence - this is a thing of great beauty.
We live in a world that strongly believes in scarcity, we are seeing this being played out on our TV news channels every day at the moment. The source of all of this lack is the essential wound of humanity that tells us that without the other we are simply insufficient. The paradox with all of this is that when we are more complete within ourselves, we can be more complete with other.
Material wealth, whilst providing us with comfort and ease, very often fails to fulfil its goals when inner wealth is ignored. When material wealth is a reflection of inner wealth, great fulfilment can come from sharing with others and inspiring them too to reach inwards to create that which they desire in their outer world.
Is there ever enough? Yes, there is enough when we are enough and we are enough when we not only remember the essence of who we are but begin live in that essence - even if it is only baby steps to begin with.
Addressing and approaching this wound takes courage for it is wound that raises much fear in each of us. What if we are ultimately all alone? In answer, there is nothing lonelier than living without your SELF, our true selves, the part of us that is always connected to the Universal Field and expresses its core essence with ease. When we approach this wound, encounter it, and move through it, our sense of inner poverty begins to fall away and we begin to experience the tremendous wealth of who we truly are - that our life and the possibilities begin to seem limitless.
I look forward to working with you soon,
With love,

John will be facilitating a Family Constellation workshop in Columbia, SC on Dec. 5-7. For additional information visit

Further Reading - Books by John L. Payne

The Language of the Soul

The Presence of the Soul

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