Just the Way I Am

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Last week, I watched Boston Legal, one of my favorite shows. The infamous Denny Crane was approached by a mom who had obviously reached a point of desperation by deciding to prosecute her daughter to save her from anorexia.

The daughter, a model, also had an attorney, and her position for fighting was “pro-anorexia!”

Folks, this was my first exposure to pro-anorexia, and I wanted to say, “Pro WHAT?!” I was flabbergasted!

Maybe I have been living under a rock, but it never occurred to me that people would fight to defend starvation. Interesting…

You see, I know this “sickness” intimately. I began my starving at age 20. I thought I was fat... and I wanted to be thin. And, the thinner I became, the more IN CONTROL I felt. Why, I felt more in control and powerful than anyone else around me. I could look at food and not gorge like the people around me. Really, folks... this was my thinking.

I thought I looked fabulous until the day my sister saw me without my clothes on and ran crying to my mom. She told her I looked like a holocaust survivor from Auschwitz. And you know what? I did. I could actually put my hands around my waist and my fingers would touch.

This went on for years. It wasn’t until I decided to get pregnant that I began to see the dangers of how I was living. Thank God it made sense to me that to feed a baby, I had to feed me. That began my road to recovery.

I still consider myself anorexic, much like an alcoholic is always an alcoholic. What I have learned and focused on since, however, is not the sickness or disease, but the root cause. I always knew deep down inside that my body image, control issues, and disordered eating had everything to do with core issues and less with weight and food.

The blessing in all this? I am passionate about health and wellness. I am passionate about emotional, mental, physical and spiritual healing. I am fascinated with the human psyche and its strength to control behavior.

I am grateful for my experience with anorexia and for the lessons I’ve learned from it. Today, I am proud to offer my coaching services to individuals interested in physical, emotional, mental and spiritual fitness and intuitive eating.

I know the pressures to look good, have a perfect body, and be IN CONTROL of something in my life. And, I also know and understand the struggle and commitment to loving and accepting myself... just the way I am.

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